Sunday, 20 September 2015

On emotions and welcome and kindness as a gateway Home - by Hollie Holden

Hollie Holden kindly gave me her permission to be my guest blogger - I read this today and thought it was so beautifully apt for the Self-Kindness blog.

Here is the link to her page where she puts up some very lovely, loving, and hugely supportive posts. 

 On emotions and welcome and kindness as a gateway Home:

As some of you know, I am currently reading Geneen Roth's beautiful book 'Women Food & God'. I am also going through some pretty intense emotions - the kind that wake you up at 5am. A lot of shifts are happening right now in my world and as a sensitive human being, that is never straightforward for me.
And just in case any of you ever get overwhelmed with emotion or wonder how to deal with it, I have to share this most stunningly enlightened description of emotional welcome from the book:

'Can you imagine how your life would have been different if each time you were feeling sad or angry as a kid an adult said to you, "Come here, sweetheart, tell me all about it." If when you were overcome with grief at your best friend's rejection, someone said to you, "Oh darling, tell me more. Tell me where you feel those feelings. Tell me how your belly feels, your chest. I want to know every little thing. I'm here to listen to you, hold you, be with you."
All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness. It wants room to unfold. It wants to relax and tell its story. It wants to dissolve like a thousand writhing snakes that with a flick of kindness become harmless strands of rope.' (Page 100 for anyone who wants to read the whole section in the book and get the full reparenting experience.)
Such a beautiful description of the work we must aim to do with ourselves and others; to bring kindness to the pain, curiosity to the suffering.
And what a deep lesson in how we could hold our children too so that they learn to welcome all of themselves. But we have to start with us. I have to start with me.