It is Not All Your Fault! Part 1.

What an extraordinary thing it is to receive a stern talking to - from oneself….. And what a blessing…

There was a morning a while back when there was a rapidly rising sense of panic, and an echo - and I mean in a nanosecond - of all the old destructive thoughts of times gone by… But, in an instance, a part of me leapt in, and stood up, tall and strong, and I found myself telling myself…

"Stop it, now!!" 

I was somewhat scared by this voice's forcefulness myself, and as to what remonstrations I was about to hear…. But it went on… 

"Enough! Now! It is not all your own fault; it's no one's fault; it just is. Even when you try your hardest, sometimes things happen, no matter what. And sometimes things don't happen, no matter what. And everyone else does not get it right all the time, or know what to do all the time, or never loses it. That is just your belief habit.

They, those that told you so, well, they were wrong to tell you everyone else could get it right all the time, and that you should, too. Their regret-full shame was simply being projected onto you; the shame and fear that they hadn't found the way to everlasting right-ness, with the resulting feelings they were so afraid to feel, and which - out of love - they didn't want you to feel, too. A well-meant, but futile effort, because Life. Just. Is. 

You are doing your best, and you are also human. So quit the self-bashing and the fear-mongering, by your self, of your self. Self-kindness. Self-encouragement. Self-friendship. This is the only way, or it really will be a tough old life for you. And, what's more, this is how you will truly be kind to others - allowing your own imperfections allows them theirs, too."

And I stood motionless and clear - stilled, surprised, and soothed - by whom…? Ruefully, humbly, yet delightedly, I had to concur that it was by a part of my own self - Me. Always there, knowing this in pencil, but never before so loudly - and now inked in, forcefully, through love...

How blessed and cared for we are, by our own beautiful and kind self - if we stop to listen to the part which loves us, instead of endlessly tuning in to our critic. 

What does your kind self say to your troubled self, when you listen?